ebb and flow

Waves of forgiveness…

Healing waters…

Sea of Tranquility…

Tears...

Water and emotions seem to be closely linked.

I have been thinking about much over the past few days: the turbulent ebb and flow of relationships, society, culture, wars…those things certainly affect the individual. 

But what of us? The simple man, so to speak. The lone earth traveler, who gets up in the morning after a restless night of working through a recent loss or grief, makes a quick breakfast, looks out the back door and considers that there is not enough time nor day to feel really valuable…truly productive. Because productive is one thing we humans strive for. More, better, bigger, faster, don’t stop. 

Inside of us, emotions ebb and flow, in the presence of a fluid society. Fluid values, truths, faithfulness. Undulating within us. Turning us over again and again. Back up on the feet, only to be knocked down again by a sweeping slap. 

If oftentimes feels like everything going on inside and out is unpredictable, transient. Secure footing is elusive, and minimal at best. But are things with God really so fleeting? Is it God’s doing? Or is it something within us, within the human race that forces an irrevocable problem, so long as we are on this earth…

Waves of emotion wash over me. 

And I stand on a Rock. 

love all things that grow

“I want to be a healer, and love all things that grow and are not barren.”

~Éowyn

keep changing

It's finals week. Just for me...not my kids. I can just imagine what it would be like if all 6 of us were finishing up another year of school this week. I'm thankful for that small mercy. As it is, I am frazzled and full. Filled up...and nearly on empty.
At the end of the week I am celebrating...victory, small as it may be, is still victory. And I'll take it. Anyone that decides to go back to school after having kids...after life has picked you up and spun you around a bit, spitting you back out all turned around and dizzy...is courageous. There has been every reason to give up and take the less scary road; but, to be honest, every road has a bit of the scary unknown to it. It puts me in touch with my adventurous spirit...craving something new and exciting. The stagnant life is not for me. Does anyone really crave stagnation? Perhaps contentment, or stability...but certainly not stagnation.
Have you ever been told you can't change? I have... And something in me rises up in defiance. As it should... We are free to change, or not change, as many times as we want. That's the way of things. We grow, we fall, and we get back up; sometimes many times over... It takes courage to choose something new and different. To operate from a space of personal wisdom and courage despite the naysayers.
Only you know everything you have come through. Most are probably not aware themselves of everything they have survived. I think it's important to keep this in mind. Nobody should tell you what you can or cannot do.
I, personally, am changing daily. And I am challenged by the journey, and hopeful about what awaits me...

worth a risk

Life has a way of wounding and scarring, leaving us crippled...at the very least limping. It takes courage to be vulnerable, and open the heart to loved ones and friends...to healing...or new love... 

Loving and healthy relationships are precious... There are fewer treasures than having someone speak into our souls and offer comfort when comfort is required...acceptance and validation when walls are sinking in...fellowship...

Our hearts cry for companionship. Fellow life travelers. Kindred spirits. Listening to our hearts and reciprocating life. This love is worth a risk...

content...

i love...
...and am loved...

meander...

I love walking under apple trees in Spring...the falling petals transport my imagination to far away lands and magical worlds. Lilacs are in bloom now, invading the senses with their distinct perfume... 

This morning I walked to the coffee shop and meandered along the way. It was all I could do to make it a block without stopping to snap a picture: dandelions, trees, a raccoon garden statue, shadows...light. I couldn't help but think about all the beauty and detail. The smallest flower holds so much mystery in its delicacy. The sun piercing through blossoming boughs, casting rays. 

This intentional way of moving forward feeds my inspiration. It stirs my soul to find community...to walk in truth...and thank God for fulfilling me. It's a thankfulness that transcends situation. If I focused on the struggle and challenges right now.....I would suffocate. Something bigger than everything is required. So while I amble along...I observe...and I am thankful...

look up

Pikes Peak is something I look at every day. We all do...us people living in Colorado Springs. Visitors come from all over the world to drive to the top, or hike it, although that is less common. There are donuts up there. I'm pretty sure that has something to do with the allure. Donuts are hard to resist. Even if it means having to drive up a precariously steep and windy road to get to them. 

We live in the shadow of beautiful "Sun Mountain Sitting Big". That's what the Ute Indians referred to it as. In the mornings, when I go on walks, the rising sun shines all over the range and "for purple mountain majesties" bursts into my head. Often it remains there for some time. It's just one of those songs. 

Pikes Peak from my car.

I'm not sure many locals have been to the top. When I was living in Kauai, some of the people living on the north part of the island had never been to the southern part. Had not even explored from sea to shining sea. I find that concept fascinating. And yet at the same time, I somewhat get it. Not everyone feels the need to explore, or adventure. And sometimes life gets sneaky and sucks you in...but not in the good sense...in the 'oops how did I lose sight?' sense. 

We always have a choice. If there is one thing we do have, it is choice. Whether we make the right one of not, now that's an entirely different matter.